text from a stranger...

hey stranger. 

i know you're somewhat a hopeless romantic. 

you don't have to pretend. i know everything about you. 

but you've kept that part of you stowed away in the deepest, darkest corner of your heart because a hopeless romantic is full of hope. and sometimes, hope and expectations hurt. you convinced yourself that hope is too expensive, and you simply can't afford it. you put all of yourself out there, hoping that the universe will listen to your prayers and grant you with someone who's finally worthy. but in reality, you really have no choice over the people you might encounter and events that might unfold. 

every time you start to view the world from your rose-tinted glasses, the universe has proven to you over and over again that being an optimist doesn't guarantee a good outcome. 

every time you get your hopes up, the greater the pain of succumbing to disappointment. 

you used to wear your heart on your sleeves, but experience has taught you that not everybody deserves your kindness. not everybody deserves your gentleness and tenderness. you've learned that the hard way. 

over the years, you've been cautious with your heart and whom you can entrust your heart to. 

you have learned to put up a brave front, oh yes you did. you never thought you could be so strong until the moment you decided you have to stand up for yourself because nobody else will. you have to put up different persona around different people. to protect yourself from people with malicious intentions. even though most of the time you don't have a single clue who those people are. so, you tread on thin ice so ever carefully. 

i know you're tired of disappointments and betrayals, i know you want people to love you for who you are and embrace you at your weakest. but when you almost let your guard down, just almost... all those horrible memories flashed back in an instant, leaving you drenched in tears, trembling in fear. the excruciating pain serves as a reminder not to fall for anyone easily, not to give yourself away too easily. "don't sell yourself short" - it's as if you can hear your best friends' voice ringing in your ears. 

you deserve a pat on your back girl, because after all these years, you've been vigilant and selective. you've always had your guard up because you know it's for the best. i know you are tired. i know you want to just take a snooze. but your heart won't allow you to. in the society, there is darkness that you have yet to fully decipher. 

yet you managed to stand on your ground and withheld your principals and good virtues. you're not one to give in to temptation easily. you're not one to stoop to anybody's level just so they can take advantage of you again. you're wiser now. you know your own worth. you won't make the same stupid mistakes again. 

you've tried to keep yourself as neutral as possible. you lay low because deep down you're weary, anxious and scared. you always attract the wrong kind of guys. the kind who feeds on your empathy and kindness, tossing them all around like it's worthless and taking you for granted. you don't want that to happen again, do you? your fragile heart forbids that because it cannot go through the same heartbreak again. you know you deserve more than that. 

at the end of the day you wonder, why has this hopeless romantic become so cynical about love and relationships?

so many shattered hopes. so much broken dreams. so much words left unspoken.  

the little devil starts to form shape in the back of your mind, and finally presented itself as part of you in flesh as a form of defense mechanism, to protect yourself from the all the harshness in the world. you forced yourself to be detached. every time you get hopeful, the cynical you in the back of your mind slaps you back to the hard and cold reality. you had hopes when it comes to people but where has that lead you to? heartbreaks. bad impulsive decisions. anger. frustration. oh, so much pent-up emotions. 

yet, you still have this tiny glimpse of hope you hold onto for dear life. 

you have always believed in the goodness in people despite all the setbacks. you have always remained optimistic no matter how bleak the prospects were. somehow, despite the the storm you have gone through, you have remained untainted. you are still the same wide-eyed girl since day one, but better. it's been a long self-discovery journey for you. 

after all these years of thinking you are the odd and weird one, you start to see the beauty in being a misfit, an oddball. your quirkiness, your curiosity, your spontaneity. all of a sudden, you are in peace with who you are. you realised that your love for yourself will never cease to exist. and those who see the beauty in you will love you for who you are at the core. 

you stop trying to fix things because there's genuinely nothing to be fixed. you stop finding faults in yourself because you realised that all along, you are just being authentic. you are being so unapologetically and unpredictably you that you are filled with so much poise, so much potential, so much possibilities that you couldn't see because you're so busy being yourself. 

when you cautiously open up to people as your heart trembles, you will know just how loved you are when they embrace you with the kind of love you thought ceased to exist. you will never have to second guess their motives or intentions because the universe finally heard your prayers. things are finally starting to look good for you, just when you least expect it to. 

patience, my dear. you deserve good things happening to you and good people coming into your life because you are golden. you are rare. you are everything too good to be true. someone who deserves that kind of goodness will come along. the kind of love you hoped for will be yours someday. all these years of not settling for anybody less than what you deserve will finally pay off. you will make him the luckiest man on the earth without a single doubt. 

the mark others leave are too often scars, but you carved a beautiful butterfly out of it and proudly branded it as your own piece of art. strength and resilience has become a part of you. nothing can be more beautiful than the growth and transformation that have turned you into who you are today.

you're a different person now. you've grown wiser. you're ready for change. nothing can stop you to reach your full potential. 

you are something rare, even if you have yet to recognize it. 

that rarity is what makes you so precious, late bloomer. 

and just like so many others before you.  

 in time, you will bloom too. 

love, stranger.