it's a weird thing to write again.

i find myself awake at this hour, writing. 

1:00am... way past my bedtime. 

laying wide awake on my bed, 

entangled in my own thoughts. 

feeling everything all together at once.

the feelings consume me from inside out where there's no escape.

and so i turned on the little thing that emanates light from the screen, 

and i write. 

it's a weird thing to write again, 

considering anything i write was only good when i'm pouring my heart and feelings out. 

the last time it happened, it was exactly ten years ago when a boy i liked broke my heart. 

i feel this creative flow underneath my vein, overflowing, once again. 

is it bad that i'm starting to write again? 

it feels more like a curse than a gift... 

i have this premonition. 

pandemonium. 

rest. 

you need to rest. 

just fall into a deep slumber and everything will be alright. 

but the moonlight is beautiful tonight. 

and you feel intoxicated in it.

you know you want it. 

but you can't have it. 

that's why tears are trickling down your face. 

you wonder why you loved it with all your heart, and it doesn't love you back. 

it's okay darling, something so precious was not yours to lose anyway. 

the moon wouldn't even know you craved for it, to be in its light. 

the moon is just the moon, 

it shines on its own without needing validation or consent from anyone.

to the moon, you're just another silly, puzzled human underneath. 

trying to figure out the intricacies of human emotions and relationships. 

when you know you possibly can't anyway. 

so, what's the use of it? 

it's never good to overthink. 

time to get some sleep now.